Our first foster son was reunified for good in the fall of 2018. We often joke that when he left, we adopted his father into our family. Which is pretty much true. His dad was imprisoned the majority of the time we had his son, but Adam was able to establish and build a relationship with him on the phone. When he was released, we welcomed him and began to see how difficult it was to rebuild a life after incarceration. It was nearly impossible to secure housing, a job, or any kind of custody for his child. We helped him walk through these things and it was through this specific journey our hearts broke for those that were everyday thrust into the same situation. Free from incarceration but blacklisted from rising again. Our eyes were opened to the systemic injustice that does indeed exist today. It seemed ridiculously impossible to “rise from the ashes” and be successful if you have a record. It would be much easier to fall back into the lifestyle that most likely got you locked up in the first place.
Anyways, he did secure an apartment, a good job, and even custody rights with his child. He became a part of our family and still is. Our kids love him and call him “Uncle.” We have had our ups and downs, I think that he has never been able to really understand or even receive the love we have for him, so oftentimes he pushes us away, then comes back, pushes us away and comes back. This past spring, we knew he’d been slipping back into his old lifestyle and things were becoming increasingly difficult for him. He became involved in a relationship and then completely stopped communicating with us altogether for almost 6 months.
Our hearts ached, and we thought about him and prayed for him often. Our children missed him and brought up memories with him. We also missed his son, who he would bring around often times when he had him. But we trusted the Lord and knew it was out of our control. Two weeks ago we received multiple calls from an unknown number, and when I answered it was him. He’d been stranded, or kicked out of the house with his son and was looking for a place to go. I was relieved to hear from him but also angry that he’d shut us ours for so long. I prayed through it, and Adam later went to pick him up. It was so good to see him and his son, to know they were okay. We had dinner together that night, and my kids expressed how much they’d missed him - and I saw the tears begin to run down his face as he excused himself from the table. I joined him on the back porch and hugged him as he sobbed like a child. I didn’t scold him I just assured him how much we loved and cared about him, and always would.
He stayed with us a few days until we saw him being pulled back into the old life. I spoke to him truth in love, reminding him he needed to make a choice. If he wanted to be helped we would do so, but if he wanted to keep one foot in the door and one foot out, we weren’t able to help again. The next day he left for work, and we haven’t heard from him again since. As I write this, it does indeed hurt my heart and bring tears to my eyes. But I’m so glad we got to see him and love on him. He’s not ready to make the changes he needs to make - and we want the best for him. The lesson we’ve learned through this is, he’s got to want it for himself.
I’m reminded of the Father’s love for us through this situation. How often do we get lost or stranded, and run to him for security and comfort? We cry and sob and bring our pain and frustrations to Him and He just holds us, reminding us of His unconditional love. He releases us of guilt, shame, and condemnation and tenderly cares for us. He rejoices when we return to Him. But then the things of the world call out to us again and capture our attention, or we listen to the enemy lies and we turn our backs on Him once again. But His love never stops. And when we return, He’s waiting there for us, time after time after time. We’ll do the same, for him, for our “adopted son,” and for others. The word says in 1 John 4:19 We love because He first loved us. For now, we will pray that God would continue to protect him, we know that God loves him way more than we ever could.
留言