I remember in high school, on the way to the grocery store with my Dad, passing a sign that advertised for an addiction recovery program, and from the name I’d assumed it was for teens. My heart has always been to help, to serve, to do something great with my life…not that I’m perfect, that’s just been innate for me, this desire to make things better. So, one time we passed this sign, I must’ve memorized the number and when I got home, I gave this organization a call. I told them I wanted to volunteer with them, and my voice must’ve given away my age and they quickly informed me that they were actually a recovery program for adults, so I awkwardly mumbled oh, thank you and hung up.
Years later, I ended up marrying a man who’s family was quite involved with this very same organization. We were at their yearly fundraising banquet and I remember expressing my interest once again at being involved, and I was asked if I’d had any personal experience with addiction. At this time in my life, I hadn’t, and the question and been posed as if that answer disqualified me.
I am so grateful for the Lord’s mercy and grace, that I never did battle an addiction of my own. I could've easily gone down that path, as could any of us. But as the years went on, I did experience and walk through addiction with many people very close to me. Previously, I don’t think I understood my desire to help those struggling with addiction, but even as I write this I am realizing that I hate seeing people in bondage, my desire is to see people walk in the freedom and experience the JOY of who God created them to be.
Over the years I’ve watched the interventions, the documentaries and on the drug epidemic, I most recently saw Four Good Days, a movie about how a daughter’s addiction affected her own mother and the guilt, shame and condemnation it brought to both of them. I sob (and my husband wonders why I watch these things just to cry), but it breaks my heart, just like addiction breaks the Father’s heart. What pain these people must be trying to numb, I just want to introduce them to the one, true Healer!
Four years ago, I was at the same fundraising banquet, and I saw a friend in the restroom, and I asked her why she was there - she told me that her and a few other women lead a women’s bible study with the girls in the program every other Sunday. I told her casually that if there was ever an opening, to please consider me! A few months later, she contacted me, and asked me to join them. And so I did of course! And I’ve been joining them every other Sunday for the past four years.
The magnitude of the impact these women have had on my life, I cannot express. I wasn’t disqualified from spending time with them because of my age or lack of personal experience with an addiction. But God in His infinite wisdom created an open door. I have been able share, to grieve, to minister to, to be ministered to, to love on, to be loved by each and every one of these ladies. The ladies that have been in and through this program have taught me so much about life, about pain, struggle, perseverance, bravery and true healing. Some of the women have become my really good friends. They know that my desire is to see them healed and whole, to walk in freedom and JOY. They’ve taught me that it’s never me that’s going to save someone from their addiction, it’s a choice they have to make. They’ve helped make me stronger, they’ve deepened my faith, their resilience is unfathomable. The other leaders and I go there to teach these ladies about the love of Jesus, and that has been incredible. But I’m not sure actually, speaking for myself, who has learned the most. I think it’s me.
Society and certain programs tell us that once an addict, always an addict. Society tells us to limit the amount of chances we give “these people,” society tells us some people never change, society tells us to watch out, be careful, protect your family, don’t be a fool…And I know there is a lot a lot of emotions surrounding addiction, it can be ugly and painful, but I refuse to believe specifically the first statement, “once and addict, always an addict.” God did not create ANYONE to always be an addict. That is NOT their identity for the rest of their lives. Jesus came to set captives FREE and He is the one who sets them free from the bondage of their addiction. And if we all believed what society said about addiction, who would stand in the gap? Who would HOPE for them? The Lord has given me so much hope for those struggling with addiction and I will always have HOPE that the Jesus that loves us and died for us will be accepted by those who are living what they think are hopeless lives.
So, here I am now, with my husband, with my family, starting this organization that desires to help people struggling with addiction and other bondages, pain, or past trauma - to see them set free by the power of the Holy Spirit. And I think of how sweet it is to look back and see the Lord’s hand all over my life.. To see even as a child,that there was this deep desire within me to do what He has ultimately called me and created me for. How He orchestrates every single detail, how He connects us, and opens doors, and all of it is in His perfect timing. Thank you Jesus for the Hope you’ve cultivated within me. All for your glory!
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